Conan the Barbarian(R)

OMG they saved so much money on dialogue in this film! I swear, there are only like, ten lines in the hole two hour movie! Anyways, the movie is good because it is so dumb. Another Schwarzenegger film, (I seem to have a lot of those on this blog. Wonder why?) The basic plot is that a young boy named Conan is in his village when it is attacked, after they kill all the men and did various things to the women,(They don't show that in the film, but since it is a barbarian movie I assume that there was some. Who knows.) One of the most important things about the beginning is the sword of Conan's father. Which is forged during the opening credits, is stolen by a wizard barbarian dude,(James Earl Jones) who tests the blade by beheading Conan's mother. Then they take Conan to a work area where he has to push a giant wheel thingy that is made out of wood. After like ten years Conan is the only prisoner alive. They put Schwarzenegger's muscle to good use here. I mean if you had pushing a giant wood thing since you ten then you would be pretty strong, right? So they take him to a gladiator fight thing where he gets his shoulder nearly bitten off. Not surprising that he ends up doing more and wins them all. From here I'll let you watch the movie. Even though there isn't much to spoil, I don't want to tell you more. Please tell me if there is movie or TV show you would like me to review.

Conan: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!